Hormone Monthaversary

Today marks one month since I started taking hormones.  Pretty small step in the grand scheme of things but a big step here and now, in all my researching I rarely found all that much info on progress, I mean there were several videos that would show progress but few detailed descriptions.  For the first month I was taking; Finasteride, Spironolact, and Estradiol, due to having higher than normal testosterone. So here’s what I’ve experienced so far:

  • Boob growth – Massive!
  • Facial softening/fat repositioning – Done, I totally have a fem face!
  • Body fat redistribution – Rockin’ hour glass figure, mine!

Okay a bit sarcastic but hopefully it gets the point across that none of that would happen in a month at least not to a significant degree.  So let’s break it down into section I’ve noticed and/or was curious when I first started researching the effects of hormones and transitioning around the age of 30.

Feelings/Emotions

I’m starting with this because it has been the biggest change.  I was always a bit more emotional than most people or at least the people I’ve been surrounded by my life up until now, I’m not even more so sensitive to things.  Things that in the past wouldn’t trigger a sadness or a need to cry, something I should note, it isn’t a constant sadness just that things I find sad on a personal level are now much more sad if that makes sense…

Now you’re probably expecting me to say the same is true about things that make me happy, and well it kind of is though I don’t think it’s because of the hormones.  What I’m talking about is doing things that progress me further in my transition, hormones, looking at clothes as I adjust my collection of outfits, even figuring out my fashion style, or figuring out my make up look, all of these things make me happy.  That said I think this stems from the fact (hormones aside) these things in the past were short escapes if you will, but now they aren’t escapes they’re a progress, there’s a point to doing these things.  So I think that is what is making these activities happier times than in the past.

That said I have noticed everything I do is on an overall “better” feeling.  I’m not sure if that makes sense but now anything good that happens such as figuring out a problem in code somewhere or fixing an issue with a computer it’s a better feeling of accomplishment.  Even the bad stuff feels less bad than it did in the past.  It’s like nothing is as bad or as good as it once was, it’s all gotten better.  Might be the hormone change or the fact I’m no longer living a lie (sort of) but in any case this is what I’ve noticed to be the biggest benefit so far and I have to say it’s freaking amazing.  I hope I’m not special when it comes to this bit of progress because being to make everything feel better, good or bad is quite amazing in my opinion.

Boob (Breast) Growth

Courtesy of reddit/imgur.

Yes I say boobs, I don’t know I like the sound better to saying breasts, it’s like how moist really gets to some people I guess.  Boobs, breasts, ta-tas, tits, etc.  whatever you want to call them, my wife insists there has been some growth.  I laugh and say it’s probably not growth just retention now that I’ve improved my diet if anything at all. As I said if there was any change it’s likely a benefit to being overweight before I began hormones and changing my diet as well as exercising (cardio) after starting hormones.  That said I’m not keeping a running log on breast size mainly because I could see the user error in measuring becoming a stressor.

That said I was curious so I put on one of my tank tops that is snug and used to fit flat against my chest… There’s a very slight gap now!  Haha, okay I admit that’s not very technical in anyway shape or form as there are many factors that could have caused that to happen which have nothing to do with boob growth.  So yeah don’t get your hopes up girls, this is one of those things that’ll be a slow and steady wins the boob race.

Although I wonder if my wife is right and my logical reasons/justifications are wrong how big will they get… Haha well here’s hoping to big enough I no longer see breast implants as necessary.

Facial Changes

I noticed actually a bit back (I think the second week) that the softening or fat redistribution seemed to have started.  No I don’t already have a feminine looking face but my defined masculine features were less prominent than in the past.  Definitely a welcome change and I’m hoping it keeps going.  I’m hoping it kicks up and even gets rid of my acne scares but I might be hoping for a bit too much there and will likely have to fall back on facial resurfacing.

Facial hair growth has slowed down, this feels like a catch 22 sort of thing, see I’m getting laser hair removal done or rather I have been.  When I started (a little before hormones) I was noticing hair reduction more easily, now it slowed down to the point I began to think laser wasn’t working even in spots I didn’t have light hairs. That caused me to start electrolysis for my face thinking that laser wasn’t going to work despite being a “good candidate” for laser.  I decided to have the electrologist move around instead of just focusing on the white hairs, upon doing so she found after 9-10 weeks

Body Changes

So there have been 2 changes of notice besides slower hair growth.  The first is the need to pee, I thought at first maybe this was a by product of my diet change and the increased water intake that just coincidentally matched up with starting hormones.  So I cut back for a day on the amount of water I was intaking to test this theory and I was wrong… So for those who’re starting hormones make sure you remain well hydrated as you could have issues if you  don’t and end up being like me with the drastically increased need to pee (I’m talking almost a 300-400% increase daily in my case).  So yeah stay hydrated!

The second being the distribution of fat around my waist.  Now unfortunately there’s factors in here that can be skewing this so I’m honestly not certain how much of it is hormone related. I’ve noticed that my stomach doesn’t sit out as far as it used to also my muffin top curve has gotten a lot more subtle, not sure if that description makes sense but my belly used to naturally come out almost at a 90 degree angle from where my pants would sit.  Now it’s a subtle curve and also less extreme.  As I mentioned I’m not certain if this is directly related to the hormones because I’ve been changing my diet as well as becoming more consistent with my corset waist training both of which could legitimately be contributing factors. Although the corset didn’t help with the muffin top in the past so I have my doubts, maybe it’s a combination of the 3 things at work here.

While the hair on my face and body seem to have slowed down the hair on my head seems to be growing just fine.  I also noticed a reduction in dandruff and my hair doesn’t get as greasy as it used to get.  The greasiness might be arguably contributed to the changing to a shampoo and conditioner instead of a 2 in 1 but the dandruff is still unaccounted for as the shampoo and conditioner I use now isn’t stuff for flakey hair/dandruff.

The last thing I noticed is probably my second favorite thing to come about so far, that is reduced body odor, not just when getting overly sweaty but just casual things, I can get away with not wearing deodorant and not smelling by the middle of the day and even forgoing socks hasn’t been a horrid after-stench.  That said I don’t do either of these often as they’re both 2 areas I can safely get away with “women” versions of each respectively.

 

I’ve Begun Hormones!

I got my bloodwork done a little over 2 weeks ago and yesterday I had my follow up to go over the results and hopefully start my Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).  As we went over them nothing of much notice came up other than I have higher than normal testosterone levels.  All that really meant was I’d be put on T-Blockers sooner than later.  We went over methods of taking hormones, the two presented being orally and injections, I mentioned I’m not a fan of needles but I saw this as the perfect opportunity to face my fear.  If beginning the road to becoming who I really am wasn’t enough to get over my fear did I really want it that badly?  The doc agreed with my logic and went with injections when I left the office.  I was told the prescription would get sent over today or early tomorrow, I was hopeful it would be the same day but a bit sad when I called the Pharmacy later on and found out there wasn’t a prescription filed yet.  I got a text a few hours later saying it was ready, yay I didn’t have to wait another day!  When I went to get the prescription I got pills and again I was a bit confused but I figured I must have misunderstood and the doc took my comments about needles the wrong way.  So I got Finasteride, Spironolact, and Estradiol, on a side note I just don’t get why drug names have to be so hard to pronounce.

The next day I got a follow up call from the doc’s office and was informed my prescription should be waiting (hehe already got it) however they had to do pills instead of injections as the Pharmacy was out of injections.  So I was relieved that I was wrong and the doc and I were on the same page about injections, but I’ll have to wait 30 days before I get another chance to start on injections. I’m excited to see how things progress and a bit nervous as I’ve never been one who’s been good about following dosage requirements granted up until now I’ve only ever taken cold/flu or pain medications.

I’m overall hopeful that hormones will be the “magic” to take care of everything when it comes to looking womanly and my transition won’t be as pricey. At the same time I’m keeping the real possibility of needing surgery to get to the point I want to be at, granted I’m not exactly sure what that point is beyond a girl who could pull off a pin-up look which doesn’t define much as I believe any girl can do that hehe.

Here’s to the new me!

Quiet Liz website begins development

Eventually I’ll flush out the About Page in a more formal sense but I wanted to talk about Quiet Liz the website.  What I hope to accomplish with this website is fairly simple for now, I’d like to turn this into a place where I’ll share my work as well as have a shop where said work can be purchased.  We’ll see where I go from there, but here’s to a great future!

I apologize for the mess on the website .

Thank you, Liz 🙂

Celty Sturluson Cosplay for Otakon Vegas 2014

I figured anime conventions where cosplay is common and thus far my experiences have been overall welcoming when it comes to skill and choice of cosplay regardless of race/sex/gender/etc. would be a safe place to go out for the first time as a woman.  I went with Celty Sturluson as I felt it was overall fairly easy to make and well I could cover up my masculine features fairly well. Originally I had planned to go to Anime Expo so I was taking my time with the costume but something came up and that was out of the question. Which is when Otakon Vegas came in as it was happening at a time (January 3-5) I was able to go however that meant I had to rush a bit to finish the costume.  Thankfully there were plenty of tutorials on how to make Celty Sturluson’s Helmet and they helped me come up with my variation.  On top of being a fairly easy cosplay and hiding things I like the character in the anime at least thus far I mean she’s a bit sheepish at times, cares about people, and a badass should the time arise.

Celty’s Helmet

I went about making the helmet by buying a cheap helmet online, TMS from amazon.  I sanded down all the helmet to get rid of the finishing coat so the paint would stick better.  The ears were made by cutting out and shaping some chicken wire then attempting to layer paper mache but after 3 days it hadn’t dried.  I pulled off the paper mache and instead used bondo to coat the chicken wire.

Celty’s Outfit

The outfit on the outside was fairly straight forward, I just bought a shiny black catsuit off ebay.  Which despite being within my measurements was very snug, also the chest area had very little extra room.  I found that odd since I purchased a woman’s catsuit I expected some extra room for well woman’s breasts.  I was wrong to expect that so my original idea for fake breasts just wasn’t holding up to the pressure, I opted to go with foam breast forms hoping they’d be more rigid.  Thankfully they held up except now I had rather large cleavage… granted that’s not out of place for anime characters. I pondered if it was too much but I didn’t have time to make changes now and considering the size of my rib cage they weren’t that big I guess.

Under the cat suit I also wore a corset (the CS-411 from Orchard Corset) to help with the lack of curves or rather the curves going in the wrong direction haha.  The curvature was enough to squish things into a more flattering shape and helped create hips so I didn’t need to use my makeshift hip/butt pads.  A bit of a tangent but if anyone is interested  the 411 is a good corset to get you into waist training if you’re contemplating that.  Being that the hour glass figure is a staple in pin-up which happens to be something I love it was a no brainer for me.  Although I will say their 305 is much subtler silhouette which makes that even easier to break into adding corsets into your wardrobe if you’re interested.

Anyway back to the costume! As to the bottom half I used a gaff, pair of boy short panties and 2 pairs of panty hose to hold everything in place.  Everything went on in that order, and it’s funny after I got all that on I thought I would be hot walking around since it was hot in the house, I was wrong hehe.  While it didn’t keep me warm it definitely made sure to not only keep my junk tucked away it smoothed out any lumps I had and helped with the gap of the corset as I didn’t have the hip radius to fill in the corset.

The boots I ended up finding a cheap pair of motorcycle looking boots at Walmart.  Nothing special here I just got what was cheap as my initial idea of going with some boots with high heels was out the door as I’m still working on walking in them and while sexy (in my opinion at least) they weren’t accurate nor functional from a rider’s perspective.

Here’s pictures of my Celty Sturluson Cosplay:

Thoughts Afterward

There were a few things that surprised me about choosing Celty Sturluson cosplay.  The cosplay was a lot colder than I thought it would be given the amount of layers of clothes involved.  Also despite being completely covered up I felt very naked or exposed.  Despite those issues I had a lot of fun and I even got a few stares which I took as a win for pulling off the cosplay.  I’m sure eventually I’ll probably find the stares degrading but that weekend was not that day.  I really enjoyed watching the security guard that stared at me the whole time as he walked by my friend and I while we were taking a break.

I don’t plan on retiring this cosplay although I do hope to reduce the amount of clothes needed to pull it off at some point 😀